I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
