I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
