My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize