Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I met the friendliest cop last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It was confusing and full of hummus
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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