I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
