If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
