yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
