Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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