drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it's not cheating when I paid for it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
