He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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