she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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