Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
