Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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