And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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