Are we in a gay sports bar?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think pants incapable of making pants work
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
