i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
