would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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