3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
