is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
