yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
