I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize