Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
