Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
