i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
