Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
