it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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