So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
