Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
