I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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