Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
