you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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