your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
