white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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