so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
