3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
