is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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