Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
