Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
