don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
