she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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