Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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