Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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