I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I believe in your delicious
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
