shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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