I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize