i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize