is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
third nipple confirmed
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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