then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
