so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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