You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
