just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
