During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
