yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
