jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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