Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize