It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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