Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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