How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
