Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
